dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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