I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
