So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
