why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize