Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
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