Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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