why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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