But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
This is my gift to your gina
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
