Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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