he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My vagina is officially offended.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
