So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
