porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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