We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
