That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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