think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
