2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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