JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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