Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
