Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
