We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
