i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
