How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
