ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
