dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
