I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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