my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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