i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
