Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
