idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
