I think I just saw someone hide a body.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize