So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Someone shit on the floor
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
