On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
