Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just want to make out with him forever
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize