theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
