I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i think i just lost a toe
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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