someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
