the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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