I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
