Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
