I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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