there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
