I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
