she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
