alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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