omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
