He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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