Your tits are I can't wait for
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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