i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
