I've blown a few things in my day
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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