You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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