i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
