she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
