it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
