Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
