I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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