if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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