new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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